Weight loss is funny. It’s simple.
Calories in > Calories out = Weight gain
Calories in < Calories out = Weight loss
Calories in = Calories out = Weight maintenance
That being said, weight loss is NOT easy! While there are a lot of reasons for it not being easy, most of them boil down to fear. Fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of the success, etc. For someone who has never been through it, it’s super hard to understand. People think “oh well when you lose weight you will be more confident, you will feel better”, and while yes those things do happen there’s a lot more to it.
For about two weeks I have been struggling. I haven’t had the push to workout, I let excuses consume me, and while I hadn’t completely let my eating go I was still eating too much. I sat back today and started thinking about what was going on, I was seeing old habits creep in and I wasn’t happy about it. I was starting to feel defeated.
I realized that I was experiencing fear.
Fear of failure: Especially being so public about my journey I am afraid to fail. Not because I am afraid to disappoint others, but because if I fail I am afraid it will be a reflection of me. That I am not capable of what it takes to lose the weight. If I fail not only will I be disappointed in myself but I will be embarrassed that I can’t do it. Part of this fear of failure was also the fear of being able to maintain the weight loss. A few years ago I lost a bit of weight as well, I then gained back 30 pounds! So when I hit the same number on the scale as I did during that journey, I panicked. I knew how easy it was to gain it all back.
Fear of the unknown: I have been overweight for quite a while, through high school and college and ever since. I don’t know what it means to be of a “normal” weight. Who is that person? When you’ve identified with some thing for so long it is hard to see yourself as anything else. It’s hard to imagine who that person will be.
Fear of success: I know, I know it sounds a little silly. Who is afraid of success? However, in weight loss success is a funny thing. There is no set number on the scale, no set measurement that tells you that you’ve “made it”. Just because you have been successful in that section of your journey doesn’t mean you are successful for the long-term! That fear of failure goes hand in hand. So you are “successful” in your journey, then what? You have to stay successful for your life! Can you do it? This process is about making life long changes, and I know that I can do it! It is so easy to get in my head and start doubting myself.
I’ve spent today thinking about how I can manage my fears. I am happy to have gotten a hold on what is causing me to make certain decisions, but now I have to figure out how to deal with those feelings!